Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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