we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
