Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
