Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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