somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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