This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
