I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
