My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
