found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
