Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
