It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
