thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
In other news, I just burned my penis
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
