The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
