I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
