I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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