This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
