She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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