I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
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