you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
