There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
