i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
