There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
