So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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