She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
