Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
