I cut my penus on the lid.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
