So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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