i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
