Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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