Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
