I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
There r osticjed everywhere
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
