im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
