Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
