I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
