Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i think i just lost a toe
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
