I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
