I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
