so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
