He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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