is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
