Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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