When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
