the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
