I like to think it a success when the cops are called
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
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