i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
