I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
