Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
