none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
