Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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