it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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