Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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