dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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